Frog's Runny Nose

I knew it would be difficult in the heat with minimal air conditioning and frequent power cuts which render all air conditioners useless.  But since I was going only for ten days, I knew I could handle it.

Paul:  Make sure you drink eight glasses of water every day.
Me: Yes, I will carry my bottle of water everywhere.
Paul: And wear a large hat when you go outside.
Me: No body wears a hat in India. The last thing I want to do is feel like a "bleep" foreigner!!!
Paul: Keep your head covered.
Me: Yes, I will cover my head with my dupatta.

I would try my best not to leave the house till after sundown, I thought to myself.

On our way to see mom

I went to India (New Delhi) in June.  The temperatures were just as expected - a low in the mid/high eighties and high of up to 110 degrees.  I grew up in that heat. We went to school and returned home in an open rickshaw in that very heat for many years.  I ate at the street-side vendors and drank water from the tap.

Mixed traffic

How does a decade of being in the US negate the first thirty years of my life?  Why does the street food make me sick. Why do I have to politely decline water when I visit family? Why must I carry my own bottled water everywhere I go?

An irate guy yelling at our driver for cutting him off

I feel so fake. Just like a frog who has always lived in/near the water but now getting close to the water gives him a cold!!! Frog's runny nose is a derogatory reference mentioned while rolling your eyes.  
That is why I make a conscious effort to blend in. I want to make sure that I come across as one of them - in speech and attire, as far as possible.  I have not forgotten my roots and do not want anyone to have that impression.

Taking care of Mom

Before leaving, I had made a promise to myself - I won't complain about anything. 
The universe smiled (more like giggled) at me.

Here are the various ways I broke that promise.
1. Mom's Surgery was delayed by 2+ hours - I complained to the PR person. I expressed my displeasure to the attending physician.  And almost had a fight with my sister.  She, being a doctor, understands that the duration of the previous surgery could not be accurately predicted. I rolled my eyes.

Jetlagged, tired, sleepy and very hot

2. Our trip from New Delhi to Meerut (our home town) - The car was "supposed" to be air-conditioned, but somehow the air conditioner died on the way.  The 3-hour journey was a test of my character.  The worse part (yes, it gets worse) was that the driver insisted on  receiving full payment.  I firmly refused.

3. The heat - the only time one was really comfortable was under a shower (twice a day) and sitting in an air-conditioned room

4. Car ran out of gas - I complained to the driver that he was supposed to check it before we left.  I complained that my sister who was using the car/driver the previous day did not check the gas level.

5. The heat rash - While we waited for the driver to get gas, the exposed portion of my neck broke out in a heat rash

6. The jet lag - I do not sleep well in the plane and took me a whole week to recover after I returned home.

Next time, just do not promise anything.

Now, the good news. We (sis and me) got to visit a mall in New Delhi.

It was very crowded at 5:30 in the evening.  Oh, it will get worse around 8:00 PM, I was told.

I was surprised at the very modern, upscale stores including several foreign brands.

Hmmmm...

 Things have certainly changed in four years.

I was more interested in the Indian outfits store and I was not disappointed.  I bought two outfits and paid with my American Express credit card. Sweet!!!

It is more green than blue

Ooh Orange Top + Off-White Bottoms

The movie theater screening Angry Birds was a surprise.  Definitely made me smile.

Haldirams - a famous brand of sweets/snacks had a big restaurant in the mall.  It was a "safe space" to eat street food.

Haldirams Restaurant

And we did. We ate pain poori, raj kachouri and kulfi.

Paani Poori + Spicy Chutneys

Kulfi Falooda (Indian ice-cream served with noodles)

They even had french fries.  This is funny because I would not care for french fries (during my stay in India) but they are trying to appeal to the young Indians who may be trying to imitate the west.

Back in Meerut, I bought fabric.  This was also the day the car ran out of gas and I got the heat rash. But those small inconveniences are insignificant compared to what I found.

Warm Colors

These are south cotton fabrics. They are a lot like shot cottons, but with a self-design and a bit thicker.  These are all the solids (near solids) they had.

Cool Ones

Saving the best "find" for last. We were at the Indira Gandhi International (IGI) airport  in New Deli just before our return flight, where I found this fantastic store - Ishana.  It is the best of India all in one place.

Soothing Pool

The center of the store has a large, shallow pool with flower petals, translation of famous Sanskrit shlokas (devotional poetry) inscribed at the edges, and small towels kept in little baskets at the corners.  Yes, they are encouraging you to soak your feet and have provided towels to wipe them off once you are done.

Live Music

And you can do all this, while listening to classical Indian music, playing LIVE!!! I even recorded a short video, pardon the background noise.

Pleasantly Surprised

Frankly, I needed nothing more than a place to meditate while I soak my feet. But they also have an excellent collection of music by Indian classical singers and instrumentalists, jewelry, art pieces, scarfs, shawls, books and sweets (free samples).

Earrings with red minakari

I bought red earrings and green ones too.

Green Minakari Earring for about $12

As we paid and were leaving, I saw these bangles and I really needed these bangles.
I had to get them :-)

Bangles inlaid with pearls!!!

Here is the bag from the store - someone actually put thought and effort into the design.

If you are at the New Delhi airport, please please visit this store. I should stop calling it a store - it was an experience!!!

Sorry, if I made you jealous and I made you drool.  Here is something sweet and more accessible -Craftsy Sale!!!

Honestly, I have been drooling over this fabric for months. However, I stayed strong and did not buy at full price. Today the sweet sale is here. And I have just bought this Blueberry Park cool FQ by Karen Lewis

Fortunately the Blueberry Park Bright FQ is also on sale.  So I had to buy that one as well.

Seriously, I bought both of them.  No, I am not saying that just because I am shamelessly promoting Craftsy. Here is the proof.

Look at the price!!!  And get them while they last. The cool FQ is already sold out at Missouri Star and the bright FQ is almost $75. Therefore getting both of them at under $62 each was a joyous dance moment!!! Hope you find something (either in my post or in the sale) to cheer up your weekend. As always, I am thrilled when you let me know :-)

This blogpost contains affiliate links.

A Queen's Necklace

I had not seen my mother in three and a half years.  When I saw her, she was lying in a hospital bed and was almost unrecognizable.  She had lost a lot of weight and looked pale.

The Queen's Necklace

How could I be angry at her, when she looked so weak, so tired and so defeated?
I cried. We hugged.

Intersecting Circles

After the surgery, when she came home, I showed her the quilt.  Her face beamed with happiness.
And then she realized the amount of work that went into it, since she is herself a sewist.

Quilting

"Why did you put so much effort into it?"
"So that, when you look at it, you can forget your pain and feel better"
"It is very beautiful"
"I am calling this one RaaniHaar (Queen's Necklace)"
"Perfect name"

Paisley Backing

Although the surgery was successful and she has started walking a few steps every day, it will take her at least six weeks to regain strength and be fully mobile.  Maybe longer.

Purple Border

I am glad that the quilt will be there to remind her that I love her so very much.
I hope that she gets better soon.

Candy Colored Striped Fabric for Binding

Thank you to all of you, who have shared my journey, shared your stories, provided love and support, and above all sent loving wishes for my mom.  When I let you glimpse into my relationship  with my mom, I had no idea that it would strike such a chord with so many of you.

Eye Candy

I have felt such an amazing connection to all of you who opened your hearts and let me know that I am not alone. That although our stories may be different but our hearts and feelings are the same.

Finished - just in time

Here is the truth that I discovered - even when we are hurt by our loved ones, we cannot wish them anything but happiness. Because we are not connected by that hurt.

Dimpled - after a wash

We are connected by love. And therefore their pain becomes our pain.

Light and Shadow Play

The only way to lessen our pain is to lessen theirs.  I wish my mom heals quickly.
So that I may heal too.

I returned from India last week and brought back some fabric.
"What a shocker," remarked Paul.   But that is a whole new blogpost.
Now that I am back, I will resume my activity in the blogland including visiting, commenting and linking :-)

As usual, I'd LOVE to hear from you.

A Deadline and a Setback

Usually, I don’t talk about my Mom. Because I feel sad, helpless and depressed when I do.

Fabrics

She is unwell and seems to have little zest for life.  I do call her once a week and try to cheer her up. Mostly, I fail.  She talks about her ailments, and all things that are not right.  If I make any suggestions (mom, try this; have you considered…; may be you could) they are met with stiff resistance.  I don’t understand, I am told.

10" squares - stacked & whacked

We are very different from each other. Sometimes, that works great – when I tell her a joke and she laughs.  Mostly, we are just so different that I am guilty of not understanding her perspective.

Switch

She just underwent major surgery, which was sudden and my sister (who is a doctor) dropped everything to be with her. 

Block Construction

I felt extreme gratitude towards my sister that she could do for our mother, what I could not.  I also felt relief that I didn’t have to put my life on hold and go to take care of her.

Ready to chain piece

She is scheduled for another surgery in June. This time, I will accompany my sister. 

Clip Corners

I love my Mom.  I tell her that every time I call her. But words are not enough.  And sometimes they can do more harm than help.  

Assembly Line

I think it is time to make a quilt for my mother.  It has to be the most uplifting, cheerful and happy quilt. A quilt that is rich and luxurious and "shows" just how much I love her.

Organization is Key

Sometimes I make a quilt with no one in mind.  Just because I have to make that pattern or use up those scraps etc.  But when I making a quilt that I know will go to a particular person, then something happens.  

One Block

All throughout the process, I am thinking about that person.

Seams Well

What they like what they may not.  So many things go through my mind - times spent together, disagreements, laughter shared, lessons learned etc.  

Half of the Blocks

I believe that all those emotions get captured in the fabric of the quilt.

Trimmings

And here is what I fear/hope/expect - that they will know the sum total of my feelings (good or bad) when they receive/use the quilt.

Will the Block come together?

As I cut and sew the fabrics, a million thoughts raced back and forth through my brain.

The other half of the blocks

We have a past and there were some difficult times in there. 
If I blame her for the unhappiness (arranged marriage and associated complications)of my past, I have to also give her credit for the person I am today. 

Layout

If I take the credit - my courage, my perseverance - for my current blissful state, then may be I should also take responsibility for the difficult times in the past. 

Layout Process

But I was a different person in my twenties.  Not as evolved. 

In the Dark - Value Assessment

And finally, if the past was different, the present would be different too.  I had to go that route in the past to come to the current destination. Did I not?

Difficult Seams

Since I love my present, I have to accept my past - however that came about.

Purple Border and Striped Binding

So much internal dialogue for just one quilt!!! It is exhausting. 

Basting

And it was detrimental.  Very much so. 
There was not enough basting spray left in the can.  The layers did not stick well, resulting in bunching.

Bunched

Discovered after quilting 25 straight lines.  Had to take it apart.

Ripping

It took several hours over two days.  I picked apart the quilting just like I took apart our relationship.

Tweezers to remove little threads

It was a slow, painstaking process.

Lint Roller Sheets

Eventually the layers are separated but the backing is destroyed. 

Ripped Backing

Must find another suitable backing.  Baste, Quilt and Bind. And we leave for India in three days.
Can it be done?  Will I be able to finish it?

Can this quilt (and our relationship) be made whole again?  Time is running out...

Hope your relationships (and quilts) are less tumultuous.  As usual, I'd love to hear from you, even if it is disturbing and painful.  
If you don't hear back from me till mid-June, you know it is because I am away.